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t m c » p u l s e | d e c e m b e r 2 0 1 6 26 My Wedding Dress, Reborn A local nonprofit sews burial clothes for babies I was married June 7, 2014 in a sweet- heart wedding gown layered with lace and sheer chiffon. It was not my first marriage, but such is the wreckage of life. As the sun broiled and sank into the horizon, we said our vows, toasted and danced—the night burst with promise and the hem of my white gown was swept up in the euphoria of a crowded, dirty dance floor. My husband and I spent the next seven days winding through the dirt roads of Central America, then flew back to Houston hand-in-hand to a reality we already loved. The following Saturday, with slight apprehension and a mixture of warm tap water and Dawn, I soaked the bottom of my wedding dress in our kitchen sink and watched as the russet color faded back to white. It was bitter- sweet, rinsing away hours of bliss. A year and a few months later, after my amniotic fluid had fallen to levels considered dangerously low, surgeons delivered our daughter four and a half weeks early via Cesarean section. For nine days we lived in the NICU, holding her tiny body to our bare chests, all three of us tangled in wires and tubes. My husband and I hummed lullabies, cheered as she reached critical mile- stones, and described to her in gratu- itous detail the crazy, magnificent world that we hoped would be hers. Today, our lives are filled with the squeals of a healthy toddler, her smile so vast it fills her face, dimples sitting on each end like permanent exclama- tion points. It is as if she knows how lucky we are. Heartbreaking list Two days before our daughter's first birthday, I drove to Katy, Texas, to meet with Diane Dionne. Draped across the back seat was my wedding dress. Dionne runs a nonprofit that provides burial gowns for babies who die either before, during or shortly after birth. The gowns are crafted from donated formal dresses once steeped in happiness: the thrill of a prom, a brother-in-law's raucous toast, the promise of a future filled with love. For something as tragic as the loss of a new life, the fabric from these dresses offers a small caress, a moment of grace amid interminable heartbreak. Dionne was inspired to start her nonprofit after her own daughter lost a baby girl. The day after the baby died, Dionne drove her daughter to the mall in search of a burial garment for the tiny body. Through tears, mother and daughter drifted through department stores crowded with the hallmarks of happy consumerism: pop music, per- fume, ads plastered with smiles. After hours of shopping, Dionne's daughter finally settled on a set of doll clothes. "They were made in China, with no love at all," Dionne said. "To this day, she won't set foot in those stores. It makes me feel good to know we're helping families so they're not having to go through what my daughter had to go through. The pain does not go away." Modeled after a national organi- zation with the same mission, Angel Gowns by Diane is based out of the apartment Dionne shares with her husband and their yellow lab, Angel, Diane Dionne examines Alexandra Becker's wedding dress. A n e s s a y b y A l e x a n d r a B e c k e r It makes me feel good to know we're helping families so they're not having to go through what my daughter had to go through. The pain does not go away. — DIANE DIONNE Founder and executive director of Angel Gowns by Diane Writer Alexandra Becker on her wedding day.