TMC PULSE

t m c » p u l s e | j a n / f e b 2 0 1 7 11 Valentine's Day Primer Falling in love is different than staying in love you fell in love with your partner in the first place. "Sometimes people drift apart, develop different interests," Bray said. "People get swept up in their careers and do not spend time working on their relationship. One of the key things I do is help people remember why they W hat is it that makes us fall in love? Is it a scent? A kind smile? Beautiful hair? Were we born to be with one particular person? Scientists don't have precise answers. Pheromones—chemical substances produced by animals that serve as stimuli to other animals of the same species—are, in part, responsible for attraction. But humans are a unique type of animal. "We know that animals actually have a specific organ, the vomeronasal organ (VNO), to detect pheromones to mate," said Dolores J. Lamb, Ph.D., Lester and Sue Smith Chair Basic Urologic Research; director of the Laboratory for Male Reproductive Research and Testing; and professor in the departments of urology and molecular and cellular biology at Baylor College of Medicine. "Animals are very driven by lots of different scents. Humans are far less olfactory- based and we lack the VNO organ." Yet there are specific, physical feelings humans associate with love, including "butterflies" in the stomach when someone special comes along. "When people have that sense of love at first sight, it didn't happen to everybody in that room," Lamb said. "There is a very clear connection there between the two people, and defining that has been elusive for scientists because there is a lot of personality involved." It is hard to find a viable connec- tion between pheromones and love in humans because people seek out rela- tionships for so many different reasons. "Humans are more complicated beings than animals and insects," said James H. Bray, Ph.D., associate profes- sor of family and community medicine at Baylor College of Medicine. "It's not just about reproduction, which is what animals are about. For humans, it's somewhat about reproducing, but also about other high-order things like love, intimacy, feeling safe." Depending on our own love lan- guages and preferences, Bray said, we determine what we want in a partner. Some people have a set trait or quality they are looking for, others have no idea what they are looking for, and some are waiting for a "weak in the knees" feeling when they meet someone. And once we have found our partner, there is still plenty of work to be done. "One thing to understand is that— and this probably comes from evolu- tion—we get attracted to people and there are these positive feelings of love and being in love," Bray said. "But that is just to get us together. Over time, it is natural for many of those things to wane, and that is where true intimacy comes in. Butterflies tend to drop off within six to 12 months of being in the relationship, and that is very normal. If people need to have that, then they need to work at it. We are wired to connect and then once we have connected and formed the relationship, we don't need that because we have made a commitment." To keep the feelings of love alive and maintain a long-term relationship, Bray recommends remembering why B y B r i t n i N . R i l e y BE GONE Dietary Trial e goal of the trial is to test whether adding cooked dry beans to the usual diet can improve healthy bacteria in the digestive system to improve overall health and reduce cancer risk. Beans to Enrich the Gut Microbiome vs. Obesity's Negative E ects Who is Eligible? MD Anderson patient, age 30-70, with a body mass index (BMI) score of 25 or higher, colorectal cancer survivor or diagnosed in the past 5 years with a precancerous colorectal polyp. If interested call 713-792-2062 or email BEGONE@mdanderson.org https://clinicaltrials.gov/show/NCT02843425 fell in love with their partner, and I tell them to practice the 'silver rule' of relationships. You know the 'golden rule' is to treat others as you would like to be treated, but that doesn't work for marriage. The silver rule is to treat your spouse or partner as they would like to be treated." Dolores J. Lamb, Ph.D., poses in her laboratory at Baylor College of Medicine.

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